Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
