i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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