Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
