Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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