I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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