We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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