isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
