Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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