if i can run in heels then i can drive
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
