I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize