ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
