yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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