I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
