honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
