Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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