soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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