I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
