I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
