I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
