Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
