I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
