Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
