what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
