I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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