you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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