I seem to have left my pride at pride
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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