Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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