Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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