i just wanna soil my oats bro
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
we're so committed to being not committed
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
