dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just found puke in my bra..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
