To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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