Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dick very happy bro
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
