I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
