Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
