One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
