He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
