Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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