I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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