Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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