I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
