she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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