how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
