i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
