Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
