nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
