My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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