are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
But theres a keg here and me gusta
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
