Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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