Who did Billy Mays play for?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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