You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
