It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize