so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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