first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
