I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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