I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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