you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
