Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize