So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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