I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
