found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
