theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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